


to have a heart

by BornofFlame



Series: Sanders Sides One Shots 2: Electric Boogaloo [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Coma, Dad Patton, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Happy Ending, Heart transplants, Hurt/Comfort, Sad but also not, Teen Logan, Teen Virgil, big bro remy, roman is only mentioned., teen Janus, twins janus and logan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29458815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BornofFlame/pseuds/BornofFlame
Summary: Patton's day was going great- he'd just sent off his twin sons to carpool to school, he was almost ready for work...Tragedy strikes when you least expect, doesn't it?
Relationships: Virgil & Remy, patton &logan & janus
Series: Sanders Sides One Shots 2: Electric Boogaloo [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100705
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	to have a heart

**Author's Note:**

> hey, this is my valentines gift to the fandom.  
> and yes, i was almost crying too hard to finish it.  
> XOXO
> 
> -ro

You're always too young to lose a child.

At least that’s what Patton thought as he sat by his son’s bedside, carefully running his thumb over his son’s hand. 

He’d gotten the call earlier that morning. The one that all parents hate, one saying that your kids had been in a car accident, that one son had been dead upon arrival, the other in critical condition.

What kind of drunk driver is out at eight thirty am?

Patton blinked away tears and looked up at the heart monitor. It was steady, everything was fine.

Except that his beautiful, smart son would never have a thought again. Braindead, and even though he had enough functioning to breathe and have a heartbeat, he wouldn’t even wake up again.

Logan had prided himself for big thoughts, with questions that stumped Patton, with musings at three am with his twin…

And now he didn’t even have that.

The door to the room opened and Patton looked away from his son to see a nervous looking doctor standing there, his head tilted down.

“May I speak with you?”

“Sure.”

The man moved to sit in the only other chair and he tapped his feet together once he was sitting before looking at Patton. “I apologize for your losses.”

Patton gave him a watery smile before looking down at Logan. “Thank you. But that’s not the reason why you’re here, is it?”

“No.” The doctor cleared his throat. “My name’s Dr. Emile Picani. I’m a heart surgeon a few floors down.”

“Nice to meet you.”

Emile smiled and looked down. “I wish these were different circumstances why I’m here. But Logan signed up to be an organ donor when he got his learner's permit.”

“I’m aware, I helped him with the paperwork.” Patton ran his hand over Logan’s again. “You can cut to the point.”

“There’s a boy who needs a heart. Here, in this hospital. Uh, I have his paperwork if you want to look over it, but he’s been in and out of this place his whole life.”

Emile offered the papers to Patton, who took them and set them in his lap. “You want my son’s heart.”

“I understand that this is a horrible time, but with Logan’s condition, keeping him on life support is a cruelty, not a mercy.” Emile wrung his hands and looked at the comatose boy. “And you deserve time to mourn.”

“Emile, I lost both of my boys today. What do you need?”

“Well, your consent to cut life support and also for us to use his heart. I promise we won’t take anything else if you don’t want us too, but Logan could save a life with his. You’d still be able to have an open casket funeral.”

Patton lifted the top paper. “What’s the boy’s name?”

“Virgil, he’s fifteen and a half.”

“Can I meet him?”

“Of course, he’s in the hospital right now, we can go to his room if you want.”

Patton stood. “I think I’d like to, if that’s alright.”

Emile led him out and Patton noticed that there was a cluster of morning glories on the door that they had just come out of.

“What do those mean?”

Emile looked at the flowers for a moment and smiled sadly. “We put them outside the doors of people who have suffered a great loss. It’s a quiet reminder to the nurses to be aware. We use petunias in the maternity ward.”

They took the elevator down two floors and when they got to Virgil’s room, Emile knocked twice before opening the door and usering Patton in. There was a curtain that separated the bathroom from the general sleeping area and when Emile pulled the curtain aside, a man looked up from his phone and made eye contact with Patton.

“Emmy babes, I said no visitors. Vee’s not doing so hot today.”

Emile nodded. “I’m sorry, but Remy, we may have found a heart donor.”

Remy’s eyes widened and he slid his phone away to stand and cross the room. “Please don’t be lying.”

Emile gesture to Patton. “This is Patton. He, he has a son Virgil’s age.”

Remy turned to Patton and folded him in a hug. “I know what that feels like. To realize you might lose the person you love the most… I’m sorry.”

Patton hesitantly hugged back, the smell of coffee and lavender assaulting his nose as Remy squeezed tighter.

“Please, if you can, please save my brother.”

Patton blinked. This man wasn’t Virgil’s father? Where were the parents? 

He didn’t get an answer to either of these questions, as Remy pulled away and wiped at his eyes with his sleeve.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be begging you for something.”

“It’s okay.” Patton whispered and Emile’s hand landed on his shoulder. 

“Remy, is it okay if Patton meets Virgil?”

“He’s sleeping, and I’d rather not have him wake up, but you can look at him.” Remy stepped to the side and let Patton in so he could see the teen, who was curled on his side, dark hair spread across the pillow, another one in his arms as well.

“Oh.” Patton murmured softly. He looked up at Remy and nodded.

“You can have Logan’s heart. I wouldn’t want to lose him like how I lost my sons.”

He didn’t realize he was crying until Remy had him in another hug, whispering thanks a thousand times over as Patton cried into his shoulder.

Eventually though, he had to go and Emile brought him back to the room that Logan was still in, the morning glories on the door serving as a harsh reminder to what was.

“Can I say goodbye?”

“Of course, take as long as you need.”

Patton nodded and went back into the hospital room to sit by his son and take his hand again.

“Lo… You get to rest.” Patton didn’t bother to hold back his tears as he took a shuddering breath and sniffed.

“I’m sorry that I’ll never get to see you graduate, or ever wake up to an elaborate prank that you and Janus planned. I just wish that we had more time, you know, you deserved so much more than what you got.” Patton let go of Logan’s hand to bury his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t drive you and Janus to school this morning. I know that it’s just a stupid carpool, but if you had asked, I would’ve said yes, you know me.” He looked up and reached a hand forward to brush at his son’s hair. “I don’t think that I can be as strong as I’ll need to be these next few weeks without you or your brother with me.”

The tiniest of smiles graced his face through the tears. “I love you little scientist. And I need to let you go save someone else, okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t do my job like how you wanted sometimes, I know that you wanted to know who your birth parents were and I couldn’t find out in time… I’m so sorry.”

Patton stood and pressed one last kiss to Logan’s forehead. “I love you star.”

Then he smoothed back his son’s hair before turning to go tell Emile that he was ready.

…

There was a line of nurses and other workers when they wheeled him away for the surgery.

A sign of respect for a sacrifice is what they told Patton. 

He didn’t care, Logan and Janus were dead and he was tired. He just wanted to go home and call his mother and sleep before having to worry about funerals and all the sympathy that would start pouring in.

He didn’t want sympathy.

He wanted his sons back.

…

A year passed.

Patton moved through life feeling like a ghost of his former self, but he still moved forward.

Depression hit about a week after the funeral. It was all too real at that point, with him staring at twin graves for twin boys, the offshoots of grass just starting to cover the dirt.

He didn’t know if Virgil’s heart transplant was successful. No one had bothered to contact him, and if they had, it was lost in the fog that was his life.

He’d almost forgotten about the teen until he was doing his weekly visit to Logan and Janus and there was someone already there, a bouquet of morning glories and baby’s breath in one hand.

Patton walked up to them and they didn’t spare him a glance, the two standing next to each other before the person with the flowers spoke up.

“I didn’t know where else to find you.”

Patton turned his head as Remy crouched and set the flowers on the boys’ shared headstone.

“I see. Is..”

“He’s doing great.” Remy stood and looked at him. “Do you want to meet him?”

Patton blinked and wiped at his tears. “Sure.”

Remy nodded. “My car’s the purple one in the parking lot. Take as much time as you need, I’ll leave you alone with your kids.”

“Thank you Remy.”

…

Remy’s house was a small condo and Patton felt almost awkward being there as the man unlocked the door and led him into a brightly lit living area, with a tv that still was on.

Remy turned it off and offered Patton a seat, which he declined.

“Vee, there’s someone here to see you!”

A voice floated down from upstairs. “Did Roman show up early?”

“No, your boyfriend isn’t here, come on demon spawn, they’re an important guest!” Remy shot Patton a sheepish grin as Virgil hollered a response and a moment later, the teen was walking down the stairs to pause and stare at Patton.

Patton held up a hand in a half wave. “Hey kiddo.”

Virgil didn’t say anything, but he walked the rest of the way down the stairs and to Patton, gently taking his hand and pressing it over where his heart was.

_Thump Thump Thump …._

Patton felt tears start to fall down his face as Virgil rested his free hand over Patton’s that he had placed over Logan’s heart.

“Thank you.”

Patton nodded and choked back a sob. “You’re okay, that’s my son’s heart, he saved you, thank you, you’re okay..”

Virgil blinked up at him as Patton continued to cry as he felt a heartbeat that had been so familiar to him for so long.

Remy had exited and re-entered the room at some point, but he spoke up from where he stood.

“We, we uh usually visit their graves on Saturdays. To thank him.”

Patton just nodded, still crying as Virgil moved his hand and shuffled forward to give him a hug.

“Thank you Patton.”

He couldn’t respond, but he rested his head carefully on top of Virgil’s, just grateful for the comfort.

“Course kiddo.” Patton whispered.

And maybe…

Maybe things looked a bit brighter after that.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed and kudos/comments would be poggers


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